Tuesday, June 22, 2004
The Wonderful World of Stingy
The Wonderful Word of Disney was terrible while I was growing up. For some reason, they would barely ever play any cartoons. Instead, they had many live action movies and kiss-ass documentaries. They would never show cartoons. Never.
I assume that they were saving them for good. Ass!@#$%^.
Most of the documentaries were on how Walt Disney was a wonderful guy. He dreamt; he fought; he succeeded. Wasn’t he wonderful when he created Mickey Mouse? Wasn’t he daring when he made the first full-feature animated film? There were many interviews with fat, bald guys saying how --guess what? — wonderful Walt was.
The best thing about the documentaries was that one could see a few seconds of cartoons. The worse thing about the documentaries was that one could only see a few seconds of cartoons. To this day I have never seen all of Steamboat Willie, Ass!@#$%^.
The live action movies were the worst. There were, by far, two categories: bear movies and horse movies. The bear movies were for boys; the horse movies were for girls. Disney executives believed that having a bear would excite you if you were a boy; having a horse, thrilled you if you were a girl. The bear and horse were such powerful magnets, that Disney never bother working hard on the plot or character development; they had a bear and a horse, right?
My mother, aunts, and uncles would rhapsodize about how wonderful Disney cartoons were. Every week I prayed to God that Disney would show those cartoons. Such is the faith of children that I did this for years. It never happened. Ass!@#$%^.
I assume that they were saving them for good. Ass!@#$%^.
Most of the documentaries were on how Walt Disney was a wonderful guy. He dreamt; he fought; he succeeded. Wasn’t he wonderful when he created Mickey Mouse? Wasn’t he daring when he made the first full-feature animated film? There were many interviews with fat, bald guys saying how --guess what? — wonderful Walt was.
The best thing about the documentaries was that one could see a few seconds of cartoons. The worse thing about the documentaries was that one could only see a few seconds of cartoons. To this day I have never seen all of Steamboat Willie, Ass!@#$%^.
The live action movies were the worst. There were, by far, two categories: bear movies and horse movies. The bear movies were for boys; the horse movies were for girls. Disney executives believed that having a bear would excite you if you were a boy; having a horse, thrilled you if you were a girl. The bear and horse were such powerful magnets, that Disney never bother working hard on the plot or character development; they had a bear and a horse, right?
My mother, aunts, and uncles would rhapsodize about how wonderful Disney cartoons were. Every week I prayed to God that Disney would show those cartoons. Such is the faith of children that I did this for years. It never happened. Ass!@#$%^.
